So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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