Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
