these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
