i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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