You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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