To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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