he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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