I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
