If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
