my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
