A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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