i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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