cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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