my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
