I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
