I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
