hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
