He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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