can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I did not marry a roomba.
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