margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
