you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
