Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
