No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
