You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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