i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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