i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
