Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
