For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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