I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
