dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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