Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
