I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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