I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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