i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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