I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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