Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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