That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
