Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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