No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
