My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
