Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
