Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
