it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Me. At least after what I've been through.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
