Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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