he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
