seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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