The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
