at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
