he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
