yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
