have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
