I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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