I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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